Great online dating conversation starters

20 Mar

A man and woman face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not.

All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed and wearing freshly pressed clothes—stylish, but not overdone. Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy.

Injecting humour into your stories and questions is a great way to spark a conversation that lasts longer than a couple of “yes” or “no” answers.

Not only will this showcase your interesting and playful nature, but it will also help to put your date at ease.

Whether it's at a dinner party, at your school, or over the phone, good conversations start when two or more people feel comfortable talking with each other.

There are several steps you can take to learn to relax and have a great conversation with practically anybody.

If food is the way to your heart, you may be keen to learn about your date’s culinary skills and preferences.

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Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you’re with and paying close attention to what he/she says.

Meet the experts: Sarah Jones is a relationship expert, and founder and CEO of coaching website Introverted Alpha, and Sameera Sullivan is the CEO of Lasting Connections, an elite matchmaking service. "This is a great ice-breaker because it's a little mischievous and flirtatious," Jones says.

"It's a sign you'd like to know her beyond surface level, while still giving her the freedom to reveal what she wants to share—and doesn't." This question lets you get a sense of what she feels strongly about and whether she's spirited and heartfelt.

Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly.

Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk.