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07 Apr

Valentine’s Day is a function of time, or, f(♥x) = dirty weekend. Buy no flowers from a hospital gift shop after your grandpa’s hernia operation. You’ve a) used the word girlfriend out loud, b) found her stray underwear in your gym bag, and c) taken yourself off Tinder. To the baseline of flowers candy, add the Nice Dinner. Somewhere quiet—if a DJ is spinning beats to dry-hump to, save it for next weekend. You know that signature dish your last girlfriend liked? Think ambiance, candles, wine—and, hey, how about that, she’s already at your place when the bottle’s empty! You’ve met her folks, deleted pics of your ex, and she has several nude selfies of you with your face in them. Do not ask her what she wants—she wants everything she did before, only better, more, and harder.

Her chocolates can’t be purchased at the same store as your condoms.

Don't spend more than: 0; think off-the-beaten path bistro, not the fanciest joint in town.

Goes great with: Flowers; think peonies, tulips, or gerbera daisies (), not roses.: You make her dinner, you set the table, you fix her a drink, you do the dishes, you massage her feet, you rinse, you repeat.

"Women are equally feeling the pressure to impress their partners, as is evidenced by their buying behaviors and searches." Roses are red, violets are blue, and men may be gifted them, too.

Not every business making a few bucks on Valentine's Day sells chocolates and flowers.

Gone are the days when Valentine's Day was all about pleasing the ladies: Gift-buying for men is on the rise.If your loved one is sadly no longer with you, then Love Ashes Cremation Jewelry might be just the ticket.Love Ashes uses the remains of a departed loved one to create jewelry, or another kind of memorial, to honor those that have left this world.Goes great with: Coffee and bagels in bed the next morning. Plus, the lowkey setting and mood lighting will soothe both of your frayed, wedding-planning nerves.Goes great with: Coffee and bagels in bed the next morning.