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10 Apr

I don't care if you're the most self-confident, well-adjusted person around; rejection hurts. So instead of asking the person on a date, you go on approximations of dates that allow for plausible deniability of all romantic intentions. Fear of rejection alone has resulted in the proliferation of Starbucks like a French-roasted virus.

If the object of your affection becomes aware of your intentions, he or she might not reciprocate, and that's going to hurt. Instead of asking someone out on a date and being bold in their intentions, they turn to the soggy milquetoast alternative to dating: "hanging out."Here's how it works: you like someone but you're afraid to let him or her know. It has the trappings of a date—a cozy ambiance, comforting beverages, atmospheric music—while allowing everyone involved to disavow the actual occurrence of a date.These suggestions are as follows: drop that “faux spouse” who refuses to commit to you; follow the Golden Rule of dating (treating the person you’re dating as you would want someone else to treat your future spouse); don’t date until you are at a place in life where friendship can naturally develop into a flourishing, exclusive relationship; don’t kiss until you’re engaged—or even the day of the wedding; set patterns of faithfulness and self-control that will guide you through dating and marital life; observe how the friend in whom you are interested resolves disagreements, shows forgiveness, and handles disappointments and frustrations; before engagement, address general concerns about previous sexual experience. While “enjoying” the seeming benefits of emotional attachments, unmarried couples— though friends—may be avoiding the hard work of deepened commitment, but to their own harm.A guy and a girl who aren’t officially dating may send texts to each other during the wee hours of the night, “chat” extensively over Facebook, or “hang out” with each other on their i Phones or i Pads.Trying to escape the just friends zone by suddenly declaring your secret love for your girl “friend” almost always ends in disaster, especially if you’ve been “just friends” for longer than a few months.Most women will feel betrayed and think your friendship was only a cover for your more nefarious and secret ulterior motives, which is probably true in most cases.